9 things to do, to get the role you want

I am tired of hearing that women are still being told, "dress for the role you want, and you will get it." They are being taught that Executive Presence means being able to make impactful presentations (read as "ppt skills") and wearing executive-like clothes i.e. skirt or pant suits.

How naive do they think women are? How long will women be evaluated based on how they look and what they wear?

Here's my advice to get promoted or get an expanded role. These apply to men and women, but am addressing women more, thru this post.

1. Define and articulate your career aspirations. A 3plus Survey I recently read showed that 83% of men vs 16% of women have clear articulated career plans. If you don't know where you want to go and how you want to get there, you will stay stationary, or just "grow with the flow", as I call it. Works perfectly well in a growing economy / industry and at lower management levels. It is a disaster after that.

2. Superb performance is a basic requirement. It is rare that you will get promoted when your performance places you at the bottom of the heap. So, if you want a promotion or an expanded role or even a role change to something that's not a conventional move, you are going to have to perform well & be acknowledged for it. Don't forget, superb performance also includes doing something out of the ordinary, something impactful. Beating your goals is not enough. You gotta go beyond. Read about Nadia Comaneci's record breaking perfect 10 in the 1976 Olympics, for inspiration.

3. Ask for the change. Stop hinting. Stop assuming that there is someone with a crystal ball and wand. That they will miraculously divine your career ambitions and give it to you. Ask for the role you want and state what you are willing to do to shine in the role (keeping it all in line with your articulated career aspirations). Keeping quiet makes you forgettable. And being forgotten never got anyone the role they wanted.

4. Do the next level job, don't wait to be promoted. Waiting to be promoted to show your leadership ability, influence and action only enables someone else to get that role you coveted. Work at the next level. Do some portions of the next level job you want. Do it well. Make it a no-brainer for your supervisor / the promotion panel to formally give you the role you want. Do the job first, the promotion will follow soon.

5. Have more than one successor in place. Because organizations want & need the abundance of choice when it comes to good talent. Successors showcase you as a leader who develops other leaders. Not just a leader who creates another leader. Each-on-make-one does not help build organization and leadership capacity.
Having successors in place pushes you to look for a bigger job for yourself. It also ensures that the organisation looks for roles for you. After all, you are a superb performer, have clearly articulated your career aspirations, are working at the next level, and you build leaders as you grow.

6. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate. You have super powers, but doing everything should not be one of them. You can not do everything. More important you should not do everything. You need to know what is happening, not do it yourself, even if doing the work yourself would just be so much faster, better, stronger, higher. You don't want to be a bottleneck limiting your teams ability to get more done. Teach and delegate. Have your control and recovery mechanisms in place. If you manage this well, you will suddenly find you have more time. More time to plan your career move.

7. You are smart. That may mean you need to communicate more. Many smart people tend not to communicate enough. It is almost as if they believe that if they can understand themselves, so can others. As leaders we need to be able to communicate with a wide variety of people. People who have different interests, intent and drivers. A single style, your own style, will only ensure that people, often the doers, won't understand what they need to action.

8. Ensure you get the right feedback. Not generic feedback. Not criticism. Real feedback. And what is real feedback? Feedback that is specific & actionable. When you get feedback ensure you ask or categorise it into 3 areas:

What should you start doing and why?

What should you stop doing?

What should you continue doing?

9. Don't wait till you are 100% ready before taking the job. If I am 100% ready for a job when I take it on, chances are, that I will be bored with it in a few short weeks or months. My advice? Take on a job when you don't know how you are going to achieve what needs to be done. It's the thrill of the chase, of learning, of achieving what you didn't know was possible, that should excite and motivate. Waiting till you have all the experience listed in a job description, will give others the change to take what you want while you are scampering around the edges. 

Mother's Day 2018: Fight the Motherhood Wall & Mommy Penalty

As we all celebrate Mother's Day, let's take a few minutes to understand what it can mean to be a working mother. Many mothers want to pursue careers and raise their children. They should not have to face discrimination or be penalized for wanting to do both and do them well. 

In reality the Maternal Wall and Mommy Penalty are unfairly pushing women out of the workforce. 

Biases, Stereotypes, and Myths

Women face many biases, stereotypes, and myths around motherhood. Some of the most common ones are:

• "Mothers put in less effort at work than fathers and non-parents". Not true. Most mothers I know, work harder because they know that any small infraction, that would earlier have been overlooked, will now be attributed to their pregnancy or motherhood

• "Mothers can not be dedicated employees". This belief stems from the myth that a mother can not focus 100% on her job when she needs to focus 100% on her role as a mother. Yet this belief does not seem to hold water when asking if men can focus on the job while being fathers, or can employees of any gender focus on their jobs when looking after an ailing partner or family member. 

• "Working mothers are not “nurturing” mothers". A clear bias based on thousands of years of women being seen as the "child bearers and nurturers". Mothers are as much nurtures as fathers are. And working does not take away from anyone's ability to nurture. Research has found that children of working mothers are more independent, flexible and creative. So, why penalize the working mom?  

• Related to this is the myth that "Mothers can’t be tough task masters". Underlying this belief is the belief that all mothers are more nurturers than anything else. It's like women have a "nurturer" switch that gets flipped "on" permanently, as soon as a woman gets pregnant.

• "I can't manage work if a woman takes 6 months maternity leave. Lets not hire her". The six-month maternity leave law has created issues. In the minds of many operating managers, men and women, this is six months of productivity lost with no help, support, or guidelines on contracting part time staff, or maintaining bench strength. So why hire someone who may proceed on leave.

The Mommy Penalty

The impact of these biases, stereotypes and myths lead to what is called the Mommy Penalty.

• Mothers are 79% less likely to be hired; 50% less likely to be promoted
• Fathers get ~6% pay hike while mothers get ~4% reduction in pay

Add to this the fact that mothers are often resented for special treatment by non-mothers (men and women). Maternity leave may be seen and talked about as vacation. Flexible work options like work-from-home are discouraged it is taken to mean work-for-home. If flexible options are accessible by only mothers, it creates a divide between moms and non-moms. In the same way, companies that have creche facilities only for their women employees alienate the fathers, and mothers bear the brunt of this alienation.

The Motherhood Wall and Mommy Penalty often drives women to leave work.

What can you do?

1. Just reading this blog post and recognizing that you may have a bias is a great first step. 
2. Next time when you see a bias at play, raise your voice. Whether are home or at work.
3. If your company has restrictive policies, advocate for change with the policy makers and not just HR.
4. Read research on how motherhood positively impacts women's ability to work and perform better. Quote data.

At 24, Sarita Lives Life On Her Terms

Met a woman today who blew my mind. As is my wont, I chat with cab and auto-rickshaw drivers, servers in restaurants, household help, vegetable and fruit wallahs, et al. It gives me a more holistic view of people and their lives. And it teaches me heaps.

Today, I met and chatted with Sarita Dixit who drives a Meru cab. I was frustrated with not being able to find a single OLA or Uber to get me to a important meeting, so I called Meru. I expected a male driver to call me (talk about stereotyping!) and I was lucky to get Sarita. As she drove me to Gurgaon, in unbelievably heavy traffic, we chatted. I asked decidedly invasive personal questions and she answered me with great honesty and dignity.  Here is her story (almost in her own words, converted from Hindi as best as I can).

Sarita was married at the age of 16. A school girl who knew nothing of life, having really not lived life to have enjoyed it. She was married for 4 years to a man who beat her at will. She accepted that being beaten was something that just happened. If a woman hit anyone, she was called shameless. But when a man hit a woman there was no shame, so it was OK.

In 2012, when she was 20, her husband died in an accident. Her in-laws threw her out of the house, saying that they had no use for her or her 4 month old child. She went to live with her parents, and learned to drive. At first she did private contract driving for JNU professors and then for some NGOs.  Then in 2014, she was a part of the first batch of women trained to be drivers by Meru. 

She tells me that she works hard. She is at the end of a 24 hour shift (worrying, no?) She wants to earn enough to support her parents, and ensure her son has a good education. Hard work does not bother her at all. 

I decide to take Sarita for coffee and a sandwich at Barista (I've had to cancel my meeting in Gurgaon due to traffic jams, and she hasn't eaten for hours). We continue to chat.

We chat about her safety as a woman driver specially in early morning and late night trips. She says she is prepared. She has learned self defense, and has a panic button in her car. She works for Meru as Meru has verified passengers. Also that the police are very supportive of women cab drivers. 

The biggest detractors to her career has been relatives & neighbors and male commercial drivers. Relatives and neighbors tut-tut at her wearing trousers and working outside the house and at all odd hours. They want her to get married again. She does not want to be dependent on a man. Male commercial drivers resent a woman taking their job. Her take - its not their job. They are not as good at it as she is - so - it is her job. Let them beat her if they can!

What does she need? Sarita wants more public restrooms (she is recovering from a kidney infection caused by holding her urine for hours). She wants help to understand and utilize government schemes for the poor. 

She leaves me her number and asks me to call her if ever I need a cab.

And she blows my mind away!